Let me tell you a scenario you might recognise. When David was very young, he and I attended a speech therapy session, which a psychologist also attended.
They were using picture cards, and the picture was of a dog. When asked what the picture was of, David said a “Bow Wow.” The psychologist jumped in and said, “No, David, it’s a Dog.” She looked at me and emphasised that he should call it by its real name.
I was in a mood (and you know what! parents are allowed to be in a mood as well), and I said, “Well, if David is 20 years old and still calling a Dog a Bow-Wow, I’ll correct him. Also, it’s harder to say the word Bow-Wow, so let’s just leave it at that.”
Yes, I was in a mood.
HOWEVER, and I hate to admit this, but the psychologist was (kind of) right. Why? Well, some of our children can’t adapt as well as others of their age can, and they might forever keep calling the dog a bow-wow.
Remember, we are their whole world, and they will try to imitate us. So, as hard as it is for parents, it’s up to us to teach our children. It may be lovely when children are younger to use these, as I call them “terms of endearment,” but when do we change the words we use for our children?
It is difficult because when we use daily adult words with our children, we are letting them grow up.
I sometimes still find this very difficult.
It’s easier to start with the correct words when children are younger, as it avoids confusion later in life and doesn’t make them look immature in front of their friends.
This was actually a hard one for me, as I didn’t want to acknowledge or accept it, but I can see why I had to.
Another reason is that we could receive a psychological report that says our child is only 9 years old on paper, while the birth age is now 13 or more. So where do we go from there? Do we go back and start talking to our child like a 9-year-old? Is that what he/she understands?
Are we really helping our child if we do that?
In my experience, no psychologist has helped me in that transition. My advice is to try in gentle steps to use more appropriate language. We can do this easily when the TV is on by saying, “What’s that dog up to?” etc. This may sound small, but it’s important when we’re growing up.
Now I know and appreciate that David can speak and I am grateful for that. David has a profound hearing loss, and of course, that impacts his speech. But again, David is different, he loves to talk and I just let him. Many parents who have attended our webinars enjoy David’s input, realising that what he has to say is important to him.
I hope this resonates a little with you.
Dolores
