How did I hear about home help?
I didn’t know this service was available to me. I hadn’t even given it a second thought, and if I did, I assumed it was for the elderly. Let me tell you how I came about it.
I was tired, well, exhausted.
I had lots of back procedures from pain, so any bending really hurt, putting the pain to one side. I was rushing to mind twins, give them time, shower and dress David daily when all my children needed my time at the same time, and the pressure was high.
I’m sure you know this yourself in your house. Things had to be done, and it was only me who had to do them. I suppose I put pressure on myself to give the three children my time.
Well, this day, I was running around as usual and trying to rush to work pre-COVID. When I stopped off to grab a quick takeaway coffee, I found a friend of mine sitting in the café enjoying her morning.
I know this lady has a daughter with many similar conditions to David’s, and as I asked after her daughter, she told me the benefits of having home help. So that’s actually how I first heard of it, from another parent.
What should I have done years ago?
I wish I had been more proactive and made regular contact with my health nurse if only to remind her that a child in her area had special needs. Otherwise, as in my case, the health nurse forgot about David as the years went by.
I recently phoned my new health nurse, and she was utterly dumbfounded to learn that there was a child in her area with Cerebral Palsy. We arranged to meet when David was home from Rehab Care, and she was delighted to offer me help.
When should you get home help?
At this stage, you may feel your child, or you do not need home help. It’s no harm to inform your health nurse and ask your GP to write to the health nurse to explain your child’s condition. Look for it now, not when everything is going wrong, and you are desperate. Only to be put on another waiting list.
Why?
Firstly, it won’t be such a surprise to the health nurse, as they will have met you and a lot of the preparation work is in place to arrange even for the minimum hours.
Secondly, they may offer other assistance, tips and advice. For example, my health nurse was able to organise specialised wipes and “Kylie sheets” that David uses from time to time. This is so helpful.
Our health nurse was able to suggest groups or community hubs in our area that would suit David. Health nurses have access to many services that your GP may not be aware of.
Is home help any good?
So, David got awarded home help Monday to Friday for 45 minutes to shower and dress him. At the start, I found it difficult to meet new people coming into my home, but soon, I was looking forward to it as I knew that I could have that time with my other children.
How did my other children feel about it? It gave me time to be with my other two children before they all went out to school. We could sit and have breakfast together or just chat.
More importantly, how did David feel about it?
First of all, David is a people person, so he loves chatting with someone new. Much more important was the fact it gave David that bit of independence that his mum wasn’t showering him, and he felt a bit liberated. David wouldn’t express it that way, but that’s what I saw from him. I could see it in him; it was someone just for him, and he loved the banter. Of course, it took time for them both to get to know and understand each other.
So my advice to every parent of a child with additional needs is to enquire about home help now. There are support systems out there you just need the right person to help access them for you.