As you can only imagine the thought process, we all go through thinking about nominating Guardians. I must be honest when David was in his late teens I still hadn’t this done, but now I can happily say it’s done and dusted. It was difficult and challenging having to deal with it as I had to consider who going to be his Guardians when I am no longer around.
We all know that being a Guardian will be very challenging, and we would rather talk to our families on other things than on the reality of the future.
Here is how I dealt with making my decisions.
I first looked at who is always consistent with David, who is kind, trustworthy and treats him with respect. I also asked David in a light-hearted way who would he like to be with and have in his life besides me! I took it from there. I said things like this to David, “if I was away for a while at my friend’s wedding who would you like to stay with? or would you like to stay at home and have someone to come in to be with you, etc.”
The conversation continued, David was fine and had great answers. He even surprised me with a few answers, and it opened up better conversations.
I eventually faced my fear and asked the people I had in mind to meet with me. I arrange to meet the person individually for a cup of coffee when they have lots of time and asked them to be David’s guardian (not over a few glasses of wine!). I told them seriously the responsibly involved and the role of what I am asking. I didn’t ask for a response there and then. I wanted them to think about it for a while, to get back to me in a few weeks when they have discussed it with their family and have time to think about the reality of this. Whatever the answer was, I explained that it would never be held against them if the answer was no. It was better for me to know now so I could have it sorted. And I do understand the responsibility’s involved.
I then wrote it in my Letter of Wishes and handed a copy to the relevant people to look over it again and make sure they were happy with the roll they were undertaking.
Even writing this on paper, I could feel the stress leave my body as it was such a weight off my mind to have it done. This is my responsibility, and I certainly didn’t want to be doing it from a hospital bed.